Always looking for something novel to do with Oliver and Charlie in the evenings when Michael is working, we decided to hop in the car and buy our cat Liesel some more food. (Hey, I didn't say fancy, I said novel). Liesel is, well, a little on the large side, so she's on a special diet food that we have to purchase at the vet's office. This place is kind of like a hidden picture book, you know, where you have to really stare at the page to see what you're looking for. There are several residential cats in their office, and the longer you stand at the front desk, the more you kitties you notice. There's one laying on a computer keyboard, another on a radiator, another on a stack of papers. There's even one that saunters around wearing a cloth diaper. And then there are the birds, two parrots that reside inside the desk area. The big green one, who we learned today is named Jake, sits in an open-air cage in the middle of all the action; and then there's a smaller one, Shadow, in an enclosed cage on their desk. Oliver and Charlie were excited to go "see the animals." The zoo might be closed at 6:45pm but our vet is open and thankfully provides just enough diversion to make the evening a little interesting.
We stood there making the cat food purchase as Shadow squaked, "sha-dow!" I explained to Oliver that some birds can actually say words. His eyes became saucers. "Yep," the vet tech said from behind the desk. "Shadow can say his name, 'hello', 'goodbye', 'thank you', and 'good morning, ladies!'" Oliver was silent in wonder, and I admit that I was a little awestruck too. Talking birds are seriously cool. It made me think of the misnomer "bird brain." I can guarantee that Shadow is at least several feathers smarter than I am.
As we walked out to the car, the boys took a few minutes to wave at Shadow through the window, Charlie saying "Bye!" and "Cheep-cheep," his adorable moniker for "bird." Another car pulled up, and several people exited carrying a small cat bed covered with blankets. They slowly made their way to the door, and it was then that I noticed they had all been crying. One of the men stopped to sob for a bit before he entered the office. It was almost 7pm, when the office was scheduled to close; all of a sudden I realized these people were taking their pet to be put down. I've had pets die before, but have never had to put one down, and understand it to be one of the most heart wrenching things to go through. I whispered several prayers for them, and for the vet staff. After putting the boys in their carseats, I couldn't bring myself to drive home just yet. I felt like I needed to comfort these people in some way.
I eventually found a piece of paper that wasn't a wrapper or a Kleenex or the backing of a sticker, and began to write a note. "I just wanted to let you know that I saw your grief, and I prayed for you. I'm sorry for your sadness. Sincer-" my sentence was cut off by the sight of these people coming back out of the building. They were all crying a little more. I looked at my note. It would be ridiculous to hand them a note. Oh well, I thought with resignation. I did pray for them. But something kept me there, and all of a sudden it struck me that I was being ridiculous, and wrong, to write this note, see them in person and then just drive off. If I wanted them to know that someone cared, that some one prayed for them, then they should know. How I told them didn't matter. But what would they think? I countered this thought with what's the worst that could happen? and stepped out of the car before my courage disappeared.
"Excuse me," I said to the group, as they were still standing in the parking lot. " I just wanted you to know that I said some prayers for all of you; I'm so sorry, this is one of the hardest things..."
"Thank you," they all said in genuine chorus, "thank you very much." They didn't look shocked; not even surprised. Nobody threw anything at me or started a riot or challenged me on religious ethics. Well, how about that.
I wish I was more bold with my faith. It's so important to be genuine in living out our faith as Christians. We should be honest, loving, compassionate, forgiving. Not perfect, but always working to live by example. But I often use this "living by example" as an excuse to being more passive than I should be. Driving away because I couldn't leave a note, for example. I need to learn from that parrot and speak up, because, like that parrot, it's the smart thing to do. It's the right thing to do.
Lord, forgive me when I feel like driving away so I don't have to speak out loud. Help me to move past the fears I have of sharing my faith, and grant me the courage to speak up. Comfort that family who is hurting tonight in their loss, and strengthen the vet staff and replenish them after witnessing this sadness too. Amen.
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